I Want To Be The One
by needtoknow400
Summary: A break up, raw emotions and outside force cause Tony and Gibbs to reevaluate their decisions.
1. Chapter 1

TIBBS SLASH. Don't like, don't read

Once again, thank you for all the wonderful feedback on the last couple stories and all the support. Love you all!

A _HUGE_ thank you to Srienia for beta reading for me and for the amazingly fast turn around.

**###########**

"How's the boat coming along?" Tony asked leaning back in the chair and putting his feet up on the coffee table.

"Good." Gibbs nodded sitting on the couch, the far right side of it, keeping as much distance from Tony as possible while still sitting comfortable in the same room. He looked at the empty Chinese containers on the coffee table and it reminded him of the past, the not too distant past, but the past none the less.

"You're going to the awards ceremony Friday?" Tony asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah. Abby wants me there." Gibbs said taking a swig of his beer.

_Of course._ Tony sighed to himself, Gibbs would do anything for Abby. Too bad he never realized that's part of being in a relationship as well. Supporting your partner as much as you support your Forensic Scientist. "I'm sure Abby's thrilled. You at a black tie affair."

"She deserves the award." Gibbs paused. "Not every day you win an award for outstanding discovery in Forensic Science."

"True."

"You going?"

Tony nodded. "Been threatened with bodily harm if I don't show up."

Gibbs chuckled. "Yeah I think we all received that threat."

"I'll get rid of this stuff." Tony started gathering the empty containers.

"I can do it."

"It will only take two seconds."

Gibbs nodded. This whole being friends with your ex still made him uncomfortable at times. Tony knew too much about him, knew if he didn't throw the containers away they would sit there until at least tomorrow night. So, just like when they were together, Tony still made sure to get rid of the empty Chinese containers, pizza boxes, or plastic containers of whatever food they happened to eat that night. _Do normal people really do this?_ He asked himself. Stay friends after a break-up. Their jobs demanded some level of professionalism within the office, but why the hell were they still hanging out together outside of work? _Because you're still friends. Like it or not._ Gibbs rubbed his forehead. Their relationship had lasted little over a year, Tony living here the last four months of the relationship. Maybe living together had caused the problem, maybe if they'd both kept separate places they'd still be together. He chuckled to himself. Living together was not the problem.

"You want another beer?" Tony asked from the kitchen.

"No." Gibbs answer was quick and short. No living together wasn't the problem, everything else was. The last two months together they were either not talking or arguing. They both held equal blame for the problems in their relationship. Originally they thought some space, Tony living back at the apartment might help them repair the relationship. After two months, they both realized, it wasn't about trying to fix the relationship anymore. It was about moving on and trying to find some way to maintain a friendship and working relationship. Another two months passed and they had at least managed that much. Although it had been awkward and uncomfortable at first, at least now they could share a meal together and not bring up their failed relationship. "I found a few of your things. Put them in a bag by the door."

Tony paused as he stepped into the living room. A bag of his things at the door was Gibbs polite way of saying it was time for him to leave. He glanced casually at his watch. Almost nine thirty, Gibbs had made it a whole hour and twenty-three minutes tonight. Ten minutes less than a few weeks ago when they had dinner together. Every time they had dinner, Gibbs tolerated him less and less. He wondered how long it would be before Gibbs just started refusing to have dinner all together. At the rate they were going it would only take about a month, since they only shared a meal every few weeks. Then any comfort Tony took in spending time here would disappear as well. Gibbs already barely tolerated his visits just to talk after a hard case or when something was bothering him. He'd lose that comfort too eventually.

"I should take off." Tony headed towards the front door. Gibbs following a few steps behind.

"Thanks for dinner." Gibbs forced a smile.

"No problem."

Gibbs opened the door and they both stared at the man standing at the door, hand raised to knock.

"Hi." The man smiled. "Didn't mean to intrude. I'm your new neighbor." He pointed towards the house on the left of Gibbs. Sticking out his hand to Gibbs, he continued smiling. "Alonzo Spiros."

"Jethro Gibbs." Gibbs shook the man's hand.

"Pleasure to meet you Jethro." Alonzo said holding onto the handshake slightly longer than was necessary.

"Anthony DiNozzo." Tony extended his hand.

"Hi." Alonzo nodded, finally letting go of Gibbs' hand and quickly shaking Tony's. "Am I interrupting?"

"No." Gibbs shook his head. "Tony was just leaving."

Tony glanced at Gibbs. "Yeah leaving."

"See you at work tomorrow."

_Nothing like practically pushing me out the door. _Tony thought annoyed. He smiled at the other man. "Alonzo. Italian?"

"Half Italian. My mother's Italian. My father's Greek." Alonzo was still smiling.

_Great. Not only does he look like a Greek God, he actually is a Greek God._ The man was gorgeous, by any one's standards. Thick, sandy blond hair that contrasted with the deep olive hue of his skin. Dark blue eyes that sparkled even in the moon light. And of course a body that any man or woman would kill for. Although thin, he had muscles in all the right places. His biceps hugged tightly in the blue t-shirt he wore, well developed pecs defined against the front of the shirt. The jeans he wore were tight and no doubt showed off his ass. He stood almost eye to eye with Gibbs, so six foot.

_Jesus please let him be straight!_ Tony groaned to himself. Looking down at Alonzo's shoes, Tony groaned to himself.

"Night Tony." Gibbs said looking at Tony.

"Night." Tony forced a smile as he slowly started to walk off the porch.

"I was wondering if you might have a utility knife I could borrow." Alonzo asked Gibbs. "Promise to get it back to you tomorrow."

"Yeah sure."

"You're a life saver." Alonzo sighed touching Gibbs' arm. "I don't know the city real well yet and I didn't want to have to drive around aimlessly looking for a store."

"Come on in." Gibbs held open the door.

"I owe you dinner for this one."

Tony rolled his eyes as he reached the car. _Oh he is so not straight._

* * *

Tossing his keys on the counter, Tony grabbed a beer and flopped down on the couch. Shaking his head, he tried to erase the vision of the Greek God at Gibbs' door. Alonzo wasn't Gibbs type, too metrosexual. The man's fingernails were obviously manicured, his hands soft like they'd never done a hard day's work EVER. He was probably a personal trainer or something that never required him to get his hands dirty.

Groaning, he rubbed his hands through his hair. Why the hell did he even care? It wasn't like he thought Gibbs was just sitting at home pining away for him, he knew Gibbs better than that. He had no idea if Gibbs had been dating or getting laid. Wasn't like Gibbs would share that information with him. But given his familiarity with Gibbs sexual appetite, he found it hard to believe Gibbs hadn't gotten laid in four months, well three and a half months. During that first month of living separately, there were a few times they had slept together. Sex was definitely not their problem. They could make love for hours, sleep and start all over again.

"Damn it." Tony growled, his cock starting to harden at the mere thought. "Stop!" He said looking down at his growing hard on.

It wasn't like he could just turn his emotions for Gibbs off, it wasn't that easy. He knew it was over, but that didn't obliterate the fact that he cared for the man. Even given the state of their friendship at the moment he knew if he needed anything he could call Gibbs at any time and the man would be there. There was no hate between them, regret, disappointment, but no hate. Although, he was starting to understand that Gibbs was slowly getting more and more uncomfortable with them spending time together outside work.

"You knew that _could_ happen when the relationship started." Tony said out loud. It was one of the risks of being in love with the one man that had always been there for him. Gibbs had always been the person he could go to day or night, and Gibbs would be there. That wouldn't be an option when Gibbs started seeing someone. Not exactly what the new person in your life wants, the ex showing up at all hours. Oh God he was one of the ex's. He chuckled, never did he think he would be grouped in with the likes of Stephanie and Diane. At least their split hadn't involved lawyers. That was a plus on his side.

_Enough dwelling,_ he decided as he got up and headed into the bedroom. Stripping down he climbed under the covers and stared at the ceiling, an image suddenly flashing through his mind. Gibbs bending Alonzo over the dining room table fucking him mercilessly. STOP! He screamed at himself inside his head. It's none of your damn business and you shouldn't be thinking about it. Hard not to be a little pissed at the thought of some guy being bend over the table that Gibbs used to bend him over.

"Stop!" He barked out into the darkness. Gibbs could do whatever the hell he wanted with whomever he wanted. Even if it was with some over muscled, metrosexual, Greek boy toy.

* * *

The kick to the desk, made Tony jerk his head up. "Sorry boss." He'd been struggling all day not to fall asleep and evidently he'd failed.

"Go home." Gibbs said walking over to his own desk.

Rubbing his eyes, Tony looked at the clock. Almost eight, damn he'd been asleep forty-five minutes. "I have a couple reports to finish up, want me to go grab us some dinner?"

"No." Gibbs turned off his computer. "Go home, finish them in the morning. I don't want mistakes because you're too tired to focus." He headed towards the elevator, but instead took the steps.

"Night." Tony mumbled to himself. _So much for any kind of goodbye._ Packing up his stuff, he turned off the computer.

"Hey." Abby looked around the bullpen. "Where's Gibbs."

"Left."

"Oh. Can I catch a ride with you?"

"Sure. Car in the shop?"

"Yeah. Tune up, new tires all that stuff." She grinned. "Maybe we can stop and have a drink."

"Not sure I'm up to that."

"What's wrong?" Her eyes saddened and concern washed over her face. "Did something happen?"

"No." Tony smiled half-heartedly. "I'm fine. Just tired, didn't sleep well last night."

"So something is wrong." She instantly hugged him. "Tell me?"

"It's nothing." Tony gave her a quick hug back then pried her arms off him. "Let's get out of here."

* * *

He was already half way to the door when he heard the knock.

"I brought beer." Alonzo smiled as the door opened.

"Come on in." Gibbs chuckled, holding open the door, then closing it behind his guest.

"I wish you would have let me buy dinner."

"You said Chinese was okay."

"Absolutely." Alonzo nodded. "Can I put this in the fridge?"

Gibbs nodded.

Walking back in Alonzo handed a beer to Gibbs and dropped down on the other end of the couch. "So what do we have?" He asked checking out a couple of the containers. "Ooh low mien."

"Have at it." Gibbs said grabbing a pair of chopsticks and a container.

"So you're still friends with your ex?" Alonzo asked, using chopsticks to take a bite.

"Excuse me?" Gibbs coughed, clearing his throat.

"Sorry." Alonzo chuckled. "I have a tendency to ask questions that are really none of my business."

"No it's-"

"You don't have to explain. Forget I asked."

"We work together. It requires a level of professionalism."

"Last night was work?" Alonzo asked and took another bite.

"No."

"So you are friends?"

"Yeah." Why did it bother him so much to admit that.

"That's great." Alonzo shrugged. "Weird, but great."

Gibbs couldn't help it, he laughed. "Believe me, I know how weird it is."

"It's really not that weird. A lot of people try to stay friends." Alonzo sighed. "I tried with my ex, at least for awhile."

"Bad break-up?"

"Not really, just sad." Taking a deep breath, Alonzo shook his head. "But now I'm here, a fresh start. It's nice."

"Is that why you moved?"

"God no. Work." Alonzo looked at Gibbs a moment. "You big on museums?"

"When there's a good exhibit." Gibbs grinned. "Not one to go look at Picasso's or Rembrandts. History, military especially."

"So you've been to the Air and Space Museum a lot."

"Yeah."

"Did you go to the Fly Marines exhibit?"

"I did."

"I set that exhibit up, well set up might be the wrong word." Alonzo chuckled. "I designed the layout, directed people on how to set it up."

"So that makes you what?"

"The term is Exhibit Specialist." They both laughed.

"Nice title."

"That was my title. I was working at the George Gustav Heye Center in New York, and would come here when they needed help. Now I'm here for good and I'm the Supervisor of Exhibits."

"Wow."

"Yeah, more work, a little more money, but still not enough."

Taking a swig of beer, Gibbs nodded.

"How long has it been?"

Gibbs took a deep breath, knowing what the question was referring to. "Four months."

"Dating?"

"Not really."

"Getting laid."

"Um." Gibbs wasn't really comfortable sharing that kinda information.

"I'll take that as a no." Alonzo grinned. "We should take a night, hit a bar or a club, we can both look for the next Mr. Right."

"Not really one to go out to a club and meet people."

"A bar, no music or dancing. Just a couple drinks, see if anyone catches your eye." Alonzo didn't get a response. "What about Friday?"

"Have plans."

Alonzo smirked. "Actual plans or trying to be polite and brush me off?"

"Plans. Award ceremony for a friend, black tie."

"Must be an important friend." Alonzo grabbed his beer. "You don't strike me as the black tie kinda guy."

"No."

"Okay how about Saturday?"

"You don't give up." Gibbs chuckled.

"Come on new guy in town!" Alonzo leaned towards Gibbs. "Even if you don't wanna meet someone you can be my wing man."

"I have a counteroffer."

* * *

"So you think Gibbs is doing this guy just because he showed up and wanted to borrow a utility knife?" Abby's face was contorted into a mash of confusion.

"No, I think he's doing the guy because, Alonzo." The name came out snarky. "Wants to do Gibbs."

"And Gibbs is just gonna do him?"

Tony shook his head. "Abby, the man is gorgeous. Italian and Greek, buff. I look like a bowl of Jell-O next to him. A bowl of Jell-O you left out overnight and it started to liquefy again."

She couldn't help it, she started to laugh. "Tony, Gibbs isn't about the hard body boy toy. He wants a real man."

He turned on his bar stool and stared at her. "So you honestly think if Mr. Greek Adonis offered himself, for one night, Gibbs wouldn't do it?"

She swallowed hard and looked down at her drink on the bar.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." Tony took the last swig of his beer and shook the bottle at the bartender for another. It appeared a few seconds later.

"Are you sure Alonzo is gay?"

He glared at her. "As sure as the Ferigamo's he was wearing were real."

"Ouch, that sure huh?" She shrugged. "Maybe he's not interested in Gibbs."

"Oh, he's interested." Tony rolled his eyes. "He was all smiles, shaking hands, touching Gibbs' arm."

"Do you still love him?"

"What!" Tony stared at her, eyes wide. "What the hell kinda question is that?"

"Well we're sitting at a bar, you're bitching about some guy that your ex may or may not be bending over and fucking, so it's a good question."

Tony sighed. "I care, that's all."

"About what? That he might be screwing someone or that he could have met someone and be happy."

Groaning, Tony dropped his head back. "I want him to be happy Abs...that's not it."

She grinned. "You just want him happy with someone that's not better looking than you."

Tony rolled his head to the side and looked at her. "And not younger."

Patting his shoulder, she shook her head. "Don't see Gibbs going for an older man."

"Doesn't have to be older than him, older than me would be nice." Tony groaned again and ran his hands down his face. "I hate this."

"So you think Gibbs has been celibate since you two broke up?"

"No." Tony scoffed. "But it's the first time I had to see it."

"But you didn't see anything. You just think you did." She nudged his shoulder. "The guy probably got the utility knife went home, brought it back today and that's it."

"I like that thought."

Laying her head on his shoulder, she hugged his arm. He was still in love with Gibbs, she knew that, problem was she had no idea how Gibbs felt. Plus she wasn't sure them loving each other was enough. Hell, she still wasn't sure exactly what had ended the relationship. They both just said it wasn't working.

He kissed the top of her head. She was right to ask the question. He did love Gibbs, the problem wasn't loving him, it was everything that went with it.


	2. Chapter 2

Again, thank you for all the reviews. Truly means so much to me!

Another _HUGE_ thank you to Srienia for beta reading for me and for the amazingly fast turn around. Thank you, thank you!

**###########**

The next two days flew by, filled with case after case leaving little time for Tony to think about Alonzo and Gibbs. Instead he was focused on tonight. The whole team was attending Abby's award ceremony and maybe finally he'd get a chance to just sit and talk to Gibbs. That's what he missed, just talking and laughing. Gibbs was different in a relationship, caring, funny, talkative... they could talk for hours. He sighed, their talks and laughing had disappeared those last few months together.

Abby barreled into the bullpen, smiling from ear to ear. "I have everyone's name on the guest list for tonight. Dinner starts at seven, awards start at eight."

"Did we figure out who is driving." Ziva smiled.

"Tim's going with me. I thought maybe you two and Gibbs could take one car." Abby chimed.

"Gibbs went home. Said he'd meet us there." McGee chimed in.

"We can all go in my car, I may have to hang around a little bit after the awards though."

"I'll drive." Tony glared at Ziva.

"My driving is not that bad." Ziva glared back.

"Your driving is not that good." Tony smirked.

Ziva rolled her eyes.

"We need to leave here by at least six thirty." Abby pointed at each of them. "So be ready. I won't be late."

* * *

"Is this not awesome!" Abby bubbled with excitement as they took their seats at one of the round tables near the stage.

"Those science geeks know how to throw a party." Tony grinned pulling out the chair for Ziva.

"Thank you." Ziva smiled.

Abby looked up at the clock on the wall. "If he's late I'll poison his coffee."

"He's not late." Ziva was staring at the entryway in front of her.

Sitting beside her, Tony looked up and felt his heart sink. Abby and McGee both turned, Abby immediately realizing who the man was walking in with Gibbs. She looked over at Tony her eyes sorrowful, her face a sad mixture of hurt and regret. She was the one that had said her friends could bring dates if they wanted. "I didn't know."

"It's okay." Tony forced a smile, watching as Gibbs and Alonzo made their way to the table.

Standing up, Abby smiled half-heartedly at Gibbs.

"Hey Abs." Gibbs kissed her cheek. "Didn't mean to cut it so close."

"It's okay." She glanced over at the man next to Gibbs. Tony was right, the man was gorgeous.

"This is Alonzo Spiros. A friend of mine." Gibbs looked at Alonzo. "Abby Scuito."

"I've heard a lot about you Ms. Scuito." Alonzo smiled.

"Abby."

"Abby." Alonzo kissed her offered hand. "Congratulations."

"Thanks."

Gibbs went around the table introducing everyone. " Ziva David, you met Tony, Jimmy Palmer, Doctor Donald Mallard and Tim McGee."

"Thrilled to meet you. Jethro speaks highly of all of you." Alonzo sat down next to Ziva, Gibbs taking the seat between Abby and Alonzo.

"Greek and Italian." Ziva look at Alonzo.

"Guilty, but I promise to be a gentlemen."

"How do you know Gibbs?"

"I'm his new neighbor, just moved in." Alonzo glanced over at Tony. "That's how I met Tony."

Waiters appeared by the table with salads as the dinner started. Conversation slowed, as the next course followed, then dessert.

Leaning over, Alonzo whispered something in Gibbs' ear and the older man chuckled. It was followed by a perfect smile from Alonzo and his hand touching Gibbs' arm.

Tony saw it all, the anger instantly welling inside him.

"Tony." Alonzo leaned over. "Jethro tells me you played football for Ohio State."

"Yeah." Tony clenched his jaw instantly despising the sound of Gibbs' first name from the man's lips.

"You still play, just for fun I mean." Alonzo asked. "I used to play in a local game back in New York."

"Not really."

Gibbs glanced at Tony, his brow furrowed. Tony played almost every Sunday, at least he used to, then again maybe that had changed.

"Don't you play at-" Ziva stopped when Tony kicked her under the table. She glared at him and he glared right back at her.

Touching Alonzo's arm, Gibbs pulled the man's attention away from Tony. "If they come back around, order me another."

"Sure." Alonzo smiled. He was about to turn back around when Abby asked him a question.

"So you're Gibbs neighbor?" Abby had seen Tony get up a few seconds after Gibbs and wanted to try and make sure Alonzo didn't realize Tony was gone.

"Yes." He nodded. "Still getting settled in."

"Right." She nodded and smiled.

"Jethro said you might know some clubs in the area."

"Gay clubs?" Abby asked, hoping he would be offended.

"Gay and straight, whatever." He leaned over staring at Abby's necklace.

"What?"

"Is that a Valten necklace?" Alonzo slid over into Gibbs empty seat.

"It is." She grinned holding up the pendant. "You a fan?"

"Of course the work he does with metal is beyond amazing." He leaned closer, whispered to Abby. "Gorgeous man, tiny penis."

She slapped her hand over her mouth in shock, laughing. When she finally pulled her hand away she asked. "How do you know that?"

"He showed it to me, tried to get me in bed, him naked not enticing." Alonzo shivered.

"Where did you meet him?"

"He did an exhibit for the museum once."

"Museum?"

"I work for the Smithsonian."

"Get out!" She smacked his arm. "I'm a museum junkie."

"There's an exhibit of early scientific machinery coming up. Why don't I get you in to have a private look."

Abby's mouth dropped open. "That would be so amazing!"

* * *

Standing there washing his hands, Gibbs looked up in the mirror when he heard the bathroom door open. He dried his hands, staring at the other man's reflection in the mirror.

"What?"

Tony shrugged.

Turning around, Gibbs took a step towards the younger man. "What is it?"

Chuckling nervously, Tony shook his head. "You're not gonna like it."

Gibbs rolled his eyes. "Won't be the first time you've told me something I didn't like."

"I miss you." Tony's voice cracked as his mouth went dry.

Gibbs shook his head. "Tony this isn't the time or the place for this."

"When is the time and place?"

"We'll talk later." Gibbs tried to step around Tony, but felt the hand against his chest. "Tony don't."

Tony's hand gently caressed Gibbs' cheek then forced the steel blue eyes to look at him. He leaned in, his lips almost brushed Gibbs, but at the last second Gibbs drew back. Tony closed his eyes then placed his forehead against his ex-lovers. "Do you miss me at all?"

Gibbs took a deep breath. "Every minute of every day." He had never lied to Tony and he wasn't going to start now.

"Then why are we doing this?"

"Because missing you doesn't solve the problems we had."

"It's a start."

"Tony." Gibbs gave an exasperated sigh as he felt Tony's hands on his hips, felt his body's instant response.

"There's one area we never had any problems." Tony arched his lower body, his groin making contact with Gibbs. "You could take me, right here, right now. I won't stop you... I want you."

Gibbs' body involuntarily crushed Tony's against the door, eagerly wanting nothing more than to ravage the man he'd been denied for months. His hand clutched at the side of Tony's neck.

"Jethro." Tony moaned his hands leaving Gibbs' hips and clawing up the back of his jacket.

Suddenly Gibbs mind registered what was happening and he stepped back completely removing himself from Tony. "This isn't the answer, it's part of the problem." He ran his hands down his face trying to calm the unrelenting need coursing through his body.

"Wanting each other is part of the problem?" Tony laughed. "That doesn't even make sense."

"It's not the wanting each other." Gibbs shook his head. "It's using sex and thinking it's going to make everything alright. We fight, we have sex, but we never fix the underlying issue."

"Right. Fine." Tony stepped away from the door. "Go back to your little boy toy, have fun."

Gibbs chuckled, it all suddenly made sense. "That's what brought all this on. You think I'm fucking Alonzo. I should have know it wasn't about me."

"It is about you, pushing me out last night, getting rid of me as quickly as possible. I saw how you sized him up, how he shook your hand, touched your arm." The mere thought made Tony sick to his stomach.

"And that means I must have fucked him." Gibbs laughed. "I appreciate the compliment, but Alonzo isn't interested in me."

"Right and you just brought him along for what, moral support?"

"I brought him along because I thought it might be nice for him to meet some people, make some friends. We're not dating."

"And tonight, at an event with all _our_ friends is where he needed to meet people." Tony snickered. "He wants you."

Gibbs felt the anger start to bubble under the surface. "It doesn't matter. I can be friends with, date, or fuck whomever the hell I want. You don't get a say in that. You made it very clear you didn't want to put up with me anymore."

"Now I'm remembering why." Tony folded his arms across his chest glaring at Gibbs.

"Good. Then maybe you'll stop calling, showing up, bringing dinner over, because I'm done." Gibbs set his jaw. "I'm not doing this anymore. We work together, that's all."

Tony felt the words punch him in the gut, felt the air rush from his lungs as his heart stopped. This wasn't what he wanted, not now. Eventually it would happen, Gibbs would completely push him out of his life, but he didn't want this to be it.

"Ceremony's gonna start." Those were Gibbs parting words as he left.

Tony wanted to collapse, wanted to curl up in a ball and forget any of this ever happened, but he couldn't not here, not now. Trying to hold himself together, he fought down the emotion and slowly walked out of the bathroom.

* * *

When Tony finally made it back to the table a speaker was already on stage at the mike. He heard none of it, even when Abby was called on stage, he clapped only because he realized the people around him were. Not a word of Abby's speech seeped through the mental wall he was holding up to keep from falling apart. Out of the corner of his eyes, he watched Gibbs and Alonzo. They whispered to each other several times, at some point Gibbs' arm laid across the back of Alonzo's chair, and then everyone was standing.

Tony didn't remembered the rest of the night, until Ziva touched his arm and asked if he was ready to go. He knew he nodded, knew he made some lame goodbye, but he didn't remember the drive home or the walk up to his apartment door. It wasn't until he was inside the apartment, laying in bed still completely dressed that his mind started to function again. The wall came down and everything crashed in around him.

* * *

"Your friends are great." Alonzo smiled as they walked into Gibbs' house. "Abby is hilarious."

"Yeah." Gibbs nodded as he removed his jacket and tie tossing them on the chair.

"Thanks for inviting me."

"Sure." Heading towards the kitchen, Gibbs grabbed a beer. "Want one?"

"No thanks." Alonzo leaned back against the kitchen counter. "So what happened with Tony?"

Downing half the bottle of beer, Gibbs stared at Alonzo.

"You two disappeared at the same time and were gone for awhile." Alonzo shook his head. "And your mood went somber afterwords."

"Arguing with Tony will do that to me."

"So it was a fight."

Gibbs shrugged, standing at the counter next to the other man. "Tony makes assumptions he shouldn't and that are none of his business."

"Ah yes so it was about me being there with you." Alonzo smirked. "He hasn't seen you with anyone since you split."

"No." Gibbs sighed. "Told him we weren't dating or sleeping together, that you're not interested, even though he thinks you are." He took another long swig from his beer.

"Why do you assume I'm not interested?"

Gibbs choked as he tried to swallow, he sat the beer down and looked at Alonzo.

"You're a good looking, intriguing, sexy man." Alonzo's fingers danced up Gibbs' arm. "Why wouldn't I be interested?"

Gibbs chuckled. "Um, don't know."

"Nervous?" Alonzo smiled taking Gibbs' hand and pulling the older man in front of him.

"Nervous isn't the right word." Gibbs watched as Alonzo hooked a finger in his belt loop and jerked their bodies together.

"Interested, I hope... aroused or getting there is what I'm trying for." Alonzo licked his lips. "I didn't agree to go tonight, just because I wanted to meet people, I wanted to go with you."

"Is that so?"

Alonzo nodded staring at Gibbs' lips for a moment then smiling up into his eyes. "Why aren't you kissing me?"

"I don't know." Gibbs' hand caressed up Alonzo's ribcage.

"Then let me." Alonzo captured Gibbs' lips, his mouth open, his tongue crossed Gibbs' lips eagerly wanting to draw Gibbs in. It worked, Gibbs tongue tasted his mouth, forced their lips together harder, demanding more.

Gibbs felt the hands tugging at his shirt, pulling it out of his pants, then the hands sliding under and caressing up his back. It felt good to be touched, to have someone against him.

Tearing their lips apart, Alonzo's breathing was ragged. "I want you." His hands left Gibbs' back, his fingers starting to undo Gibbs' belt. His dark blue eyes locked on Gibbs' steely blue.

Gibbs growled wanting so desperately to give in, then an image flashed through his mind... an image that shouldn't be there. _Not now, damn it!_ Capturing Alonzo's wrist he jerked them away and took a deep breath.

Alonzo let out a disappointed sigh. "Right."

"I can't."

"I get it." Alonzo nodded.

"I'd be doing it for the wrong reasons." Gibbs sighed. "And that's not fair to you." Letting go of the man, he stepped back.

Alonzo asked the question he already knew the answer to. "You're still in love with Tony?"

It took a moment, but Gibbs finally nodded.

"You're getting back together?"

"No." Gibbs ran his hands through his hair. "But until I work out how I feel, I can't do this."

Alonzo shook his head. "The good ones are always taken."

"I didn't mean to put you in this situation."

"No." Alonzo chuckled. "I put myself in this situation. I knew when I saw Tony here that first night it wasn't over... for either of you." He patted Gibbs' chest. "Good night Jethro."

Gibbs followed Alonzo to the front door. "Alonzo."

"Don't say it." Alonzo laughed. "Hearing you say if things were different, only makes it worse."

"Yeah."

"Bye Jethro." Alonzo walked off the porch and down the sidewalk to his house, never looking back.

Closing the door, Gibbs fell back against it, then dropped his head back. "FUCK!"

* * *

He laid on the couch eyes closed replaying earlier tonight. Hurting Tony wasn't his intention originally, but he had. It was written all over Tony's face when he said the words _Then maybe you'll stop calling, showing up, bringing dinner over, because I'm done. I'm not doing this anymore. We work together, that's all._ Truth was he wanted it to stop, because it gave him hope where he thought there was none. Now he wasn't sure. Did Tony want to try again just because another man was showing interested or was there actually something more to it.

Gibbs growled into the darkness. He'd wanted to give in tonight, take Tony right there against the door of the bathroom, for months he'd wanted nothing more than to feel Tony again. Sex between them was amazing, this mixture of raw animalistic need and a deep emotional connection. But they used that as some kind of fix all during their relationship. They would fight like cats and dogs, then make love to solve the problem. But it didn't solve anything, it just buried the problem for a few days or a week, then it would pop up again and their fighting would get even more intense. Instead of dealing with it, they would just repeat the cycle again. By the time Tony moved out there were so many issues they couldn't make love enough to deal with them all. So they just fought, then stopped talking all together, until finally one day Tony snapped. Tony couldn't deal with it anymore, and moved out a day later. They told themselves they were working on it, but they weren't. They'd go days without seeing each other, then weeks and when they did see each other it turned into nothing but polite conversation.

Then during the second month apart things changed again, Tony started calling just to see how he was doing, then showing up with dinner. It was odd and uncomfortable at first, but over time he just let it happen. He chalked it up to Tony just wanting to continue their friendship. So even though he still loved Tony, he buried that feeling and worked on being friends. It never went back to the way it was, there were too many emotional barriers between them to go back to how it was before they started seeing each other. By the fourth month, when nothing had changed, he told himself it truly was over between them. He hated Tony calling and showing up, but he couldn't stop it, it was better to have Tony in his life as a friend then nothing at all.

But tonight, having Tony that close, even for an instant made him realize he couldn't move on when he still wanted Tony in every way. He chuckled to himself. You think he would have remembered that... Tony was the first person to really make him move on from Shannon, at least for awhile. Now he was holding on to Tony, not letting go even though it had been over for months. But how do you move on when you're still in love, how do you let that feeling go?


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for the reviews, hopefully this chapter is a little less angsty for everyone.

A _HUGE_ thank you again to Srienia for beta reading for me! You are great, thank you :)

** ###########**

Sitting on the back patio, Gibbs sipped the coffee trying to get motivated for the day. He'd slept maybe a few hours, if that. His back ached from tossing and turning, his knee ached from the mild weather, and his head hurt because of all the conflicting emotions running around inside. Rubbing his forehead, he heard the gate open and looked up as the man walked in.

"Not here to bother you just wanted to bring this back." Alonzo put the utility knife down on the table in front of Gibbs. "Keep forgetting."

"Thanks." Gibbs smiled. "Want some coffee?"

Alonzo shook his head. "Can't stay, have to head into work. Problem with the new exhibit."

"Sure."

"You okay? I mean about Tony, not me."

"Fine." Gibbs nodded, then looked past Alonzo and sighed. _Great just what he needed._

Turning around, Alonzo stared directly into the green eyes of the man behind him. "Hi."

"Hi." Tony tried not to let the annoyance seep into his voice. He held up the jacket in his hand. "Just wanted to drop this off. Ended up at my place by mistake."

"Coffee?" Gibbs asked.

"Didn't mean to interrupt." Tony said his jaw clenched, ignoring the coffee question.

"Not interrupting. I'm off to work." Alonzo explained.

Tony nodded. "I should probably go too, just um. Wanted you to have the jacket."

"Have some coffee." Gibbs' eyes fixed on Tony's telling the younger man the offer was sincere.

It took a moment, but Tony finally agreed. "Okay."

Gibbs stood up debating on whether to leave the two men alone. Tony had made it clear last night he wasn't fond of the other man.

"Again, thanks for letting me borrow the knife." Alonzo smiled.

"Not a problem." Gibbs grabbed the utility knife before heading back into the house, best not to leave any weapons around.

"Bye." Alonzo slowly made his way towards the gate.

Once Gibbs disappeared, Alonzo stopped and turned back to Tony, not surprised to find the man glaring at him. "You're a lucky man... he still loves you."

Tony didn't respond.

"And it's obvious you still love him."

"I do." That was something Tony wanted Alonzo to know.

Alonzo shook his head. "Don't worry. I tried and got shot down." He paused and glared back at Tony. "But if I were you, I'd work this out... because next time I won't give up so easily."

"Is that suppose to scare me?" Tony chuckled.

"No. Just telling you like it is." Alonzo smiled.

"Believe me." Tony smirked. "There won't be a next time."

Alonzo shook his head. "Have a good day."

Tony clenched his fists in front of his face, growling as he fought back the urge to follow the freakishly good looking man and punch him in his six pack abs. Or better yet, in that perfectly chiseled face.

"Tony."

Hearing his voice, Tony unclenched his fists and turned around, putting Alonzo out of his thoughts.

"You okay?" Gibbs asked holding out the coffee mug.

"Yeah." Accepting the mug, Tony forced a smile. "Thanks."

Gibbs sat back down at the small patio table and looked at the coat Tony was holding. "I gave you that coat."

Tony looked away.

"You got cold that night when we went to look at the stars." Gibbs felt the smile curl on the left side of his lips. "You said it smelled like me and you wouldn't give it up."

"Yeah." Tony had smelled the coat a thousand times over the last few months, pretending it had gotten mixed up into his things by accident was just a ploy.

"Always surprised me when you wore it."

"Why?"

"You wearing a Carhartt jacket." Gibbs snickered. "Not exactly your normal designer flare."

Tony shook his head. "It made me feel close to you."

"So are you giving it back to me?" Gibbs stared at Tony. "It's one of my favorites."

"Then you should have it back." Tony laid the coat on the table, his hand refusing to leave it, stroking it like some pet as he chuckled nervously trying to hide the emotion. "Although the green looks better with my eyes." Removing his hand, Tony felt the fingers on his wrist.

"Why are you doing this?" The question was spoken almost as a whisper.

Swallowing the emotion, Tony cleared his throat. "Because keeping reminders of you just makes it worse."

Gibbs' thumb brushed back and forth over Tony's pulse. "Remember that first night?"

"You kissed me... on the wrist." Tony's hand was slowly pulled towards Gibbs' mouth, then he felt the lips brush against the inside of his wrist. "You said you could feel-" He paused, the emotion causing his voice to falter. "Feel the want, the need when you kissed my pulse."

"I still can." Gibbs searched the green eyes. "I'm just not sure what's behind that need anymore."

"I love you Jethro, that hasn't changed."

Nodding, Gibbs let go of Tony's wrist. "I should have refilled my coffee." He stood up and stepped through the door and into the kitchen. Tony walked in behind him. Putting his cup down next to the coffee pot, Tony touched Gibbs' arm as he went to reach for the pot.

Gibbs paused, staring at the hand on his arm, then skimming up to Tony's face. Soft lips touched his before he could even react. Tony's tongue parted his lips, taking his mouth coercing him to match the hunger and the need he was receiving. Warm hands on his neck deepened the kiss, bruising their lips with the force. Swimming with desire, his arm wrapped around Tony's waist jerking their bodies together wanting that added closeness.

Taking the arm around his waist as surrender, Tony pushed Gibbs back against the kitchen counter. His tongue tangling with Gibbs, drawing it into his mouth and sucking deeply, eliciting a growl from the older man. He knew all the ways Gibbs liked to be kissed, bit, licked, sucked and made love to and he was using every trick he knew. He took Gibbs bottom lip between his teeth, drawing it out and biting down softly. As he tried to capture both of Gibbs' lips again, he was stopped by Gibbs' forehead touching his.

"Tony." Gibbs panted.

Tony felt the pain crush in around his heart."You don't want this." He pulled out of Gibbs' arm and stepped back, chuckling as he ran his hands through his hair. "You miss me, even love me... but you don't want me back."

"I do want you back." Gibbs paused. "I just don't want you back the way we were."

"And the way we were is my fault?" The annoyance dripped from Tony's voice.

"No."

Tony shook his head. "That's what it sounds like."

"I made mistakes, so did you." One kiss and already they were fighting again.

"You made a lot of mistakes."

Tossing his head back, Gibbs groaned. "I get it."

"Do you?" Tony asked with a condescending tone.

Pulling his head up, Gibbs glared at Tony. "Why don't you remind me of all the things I did wrong." He snapped. "I worked too much, stayed down in the basement too late working on the boat, didn't pay enough attention to you, forgot some anniversary and-"

"You stopped caring, stopped being present for me." Tony yelled stopping Gibbs' rant.

Gibbs' mouth closed, taken aback by the statement. He rubbed his hand over his mouth. "I never stopped caring."

"Who brought me home after I had three ribs broken by that perp?" Tony sighed. "And who stayed with me that day when I was so sick I couldn't even stand?"

Clearing his throat, Gibbs knew Tony didn't expect an answer, because they both knew the answer that mattered...it wasn't him.

"And where were you the day I finally got a Meritorious Service Award?" Tony barked. "That's right, you were at home, proving the same point you do every year. That medals don't matter to you. Well they matter to me and you could have been there, for me."

Gibbs' gaze fell to the floor.

"Yet you'll put on a black tie for Abby." Tony paused. "How is that suppose to make me feel?"

There was no good way to respond, at least none that was worthy of how much Gibbs had hurt Tony. There were explanations he could give, but he couldn't go back and make it right.

"We're both workaholics, I love that you were building the boat for us, I got plenty of attention from you and I could care less about when the hell our anniversary was." Tony sighed. "But you weren't there when I needed you most."

Steel blue eyes finally looked back at Tony. "I'm sorry. I should have been there... but I always cared."

Gibbs saying he was sorry didn't surprise Tony any more. Although Gibbs didn't say it often, he said it when it counted.

"It won't happen again." Gibbs was making a promise to Tony and to himself. "Whether I'm your friend or your lover."

"And which of those do you wanna be?" Tony asked folding his arms across his chest.

"Both, if it's right, for both of us."

Tony chuckled. "Guess that means it's your turn to tell me what I did wrong."

"No." Gibbs shook his head. "I have a question."

"A question?" Tony looked puzzled.

"Why did you stop talking to me?"

"What?"

"You stopped coming down to the basement and talking to me." Gibbs shrugged. "Stopped helping on the boat. I thought you liked us working on the boat together."

"I did. I thought me sitting there babbling was annoying."

"When did I ever give you that idea?" Gibbs' brow furrowed.

Tony's Adam's apple bobbed up and down. "I just-" The sentence stopped.

"Don't you think I would have told you if it bothered me?" Gibbs wasn't the type to not tell people when he was annoyed.

Rubbing his forehead, Tony realized he'd projected his own feelings, just assuming Gibbs didn't want him there.

"All the times we talked, laughed, made love in the basement and you thought I didn't want you there." Gibbs shook his head. "You were the first person who actually _wanted_ to be there with me." Taking a step forward he grabbed Tony by the bicep and jerked the younger man forward. "I always wanted you there." Another sharp jerk. "Always."

"Jethro." Tony placed his other hand on Gibbs' chest. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah." Gibbs nodded still clutching at Tony's arm.

"Is that it?" Tony's hand left Gibbs' chest and cupped his cheek. "That's the only problem you had with me?"

"There's something else."

Tony knew there had to be more.

Letting go of Tony's bicep, Gibbs stepped away needing some separation between them. "You started hogging the covers."

Tony's brow furrowed.

"You balled up in some kinda blanket cocoon with only your nose and mouth sticking out."

"And that's a problem?"

"That's when I knew something was wrong." Gibbs paused. "When you stopped curling up to me and started curling in on yourself."

Tony glanced away for a moment. "Defense mechanism."

"Yeah, I got that." What Gibbs had to say next wouldn't exactly make things better, but it needed to be said. "I'm not your father or anyone else from your past that hurt you, left you, or stopped loving you. I should have been there during those times you mentioned, but you were pulling away."

"So now it's all about my daddy issues." Tony chuckled sarcastically.

"No." Gibbs had expected that response. "It's about pulling away because it's easier to pull away first than to be hurt."

"And I was right." Tony glared.

"No you weren't." Gibbs shook his head. "When you moved out we both decided that was the right thing, but I didn't like it or want it to happen."

"Then why didn't you tell me that?"

"Because you wouldn't hear it." Tony didn't wanna hear much of anything that night. "You had a bag packed, said you couldn't put up with me anymore, you needed to leave. I agreed because, because I didn't want you here if you didn't wanna be here."

"So letting me leave was easier." Tony snapped.

"Not easier, but it was what needed to happen."

Tony laughed. "Is this why you've been divorced three times? It's just easier to let them leave?"

Gibbs took a deep breath trying to reign in the anger. "No, I actually wanted them to leave and I was happy when they did. I wasn't happy when you left and I'm still not happy."

"Neither am I."

"You're pissed that I let you leave, I get it." Gibbs ran his hands through his hair. "But I still think it was the right thing to do."

"Why?

"Because at that moment you 'd given up, you may have still loved me, but you hated me too."

"I never hated you, I was angry." The words were spoken through clenched teeth.

"I thought once you had some time away, things would go back to normal." That had been Gibbs mistake, believing everything could be fixed by them being apart for awhile. "But they didn't, we said we were trying but we weren't."

Gibbs was right, Tony knew that. The first few weeks apart, they tried, but it was old habits. Sex, then fight. After that they barely saw each other those first couple of months and when they did there was this awkward politeness that neither of them could get around.

"We're two stubborn men that couldn't figure out how to break the silence between us that had started months before you left." Gibbs was used to silence, but not from Tony. Tony was always the one to wanna talk it out, at least at first, but that changed quickly.

"This is the conversation we should have had when I left." Tony sighed.

"It's the conversation we should have had before it even got that far."

"Are we back to the fact that I stopped talking." Tony rolled his eyes annoyed.

Gibbs growled and ran his hands down his face. "Damn it Tony, we both fucked up!"

"You stopped talking too."

"This was a mistake." Gibbs shook his head. "We try to have a conversation and we're right back where we started, playing the blame game."

"I just-" A knock at the door made Tony stop.

Then another knock this one longer and louder.

Gibbs headed towards the door and pulled it open.

"Agent Gibbs?"

"Yeah. Agent Lane, right?"

"Yes, sir. Um I mean." The young agent shook his head. "I mean Agent Gibbs."

"Spit it out."

"There's been an accident."

Gibbs' heart sank.

"Agent Fornell, FBI."

"What?"

"Director Vance sent me to take you to the hospital."

"Tony." Gibbs tossed back over his shoulder.

"What's wrong?" Tony asked approaching the open door.

"We need to go."

"Go where?"

"Hospital, Fornell."

* * *

"Tobias Fornell." Gibbs said stepping up to the nurses' desk, Tony behind him.

"Agent Gibbs?" A doctor approached

"Yes."

"Doctor Hamel." The man extended his hand.

"Jethro." Gibbs said shaking the man's hand.

"Gibbs!"

Turning around at the sound of his name, Gibbs saw the familiar face.

"They won't let me in." The young man's voice quivered.

"Um Doctor this is Fornell's-"

"Partner I know." Doctor Hamel finished the sentence. "I'll let Mr. Palmer in as soon as I can."

Tony's eyes danced back and forth between Gibbs and Palmer. What the hell? Fornell and Palmer? How the hell did he not know about that?

"But right now you are his POA and he's asking for you."

"Okay." Gibbs looked surprised. Fornell never told him that he was POA. "I don't even know what happened."

"I'll take you back and we can discuss it with Agent Fornell."

As they went to walk away, Gibbs touched Tony's arm and whispered in his ear. "Stay with Palmer."

"Yeah." Tony nodded.

"You can talk to him about the rest later okay?" Gibbs looked at Tony wanting to make sure Tony understood this was not the time to ask a hundred questions about the relationship.

"Sure." Tony looked over at Palmer and smiled. "Jimmy lets grab a coffee."

"What the hell happened?" Gibbs asked quietly as they headed back through double doors.

"He was undercover, beaten badly, stabbed through the left hand, gunshot to the right thigh, broken ribs."

Gibbs rubbed his forehead. He knew Fornell was undercover, but not the whole story. "Is he gonna be okay?"

"Yes" Doctor Hamel nodded. "But he needs rest and time to recover."

Stopping in mid step, Gibbs looked at the doctor confused. "Why wouldn't you let Jimmy back?"

"Agent Gibbs, I would let Mr. Palmer back immediately, but the first thing Agent Fornell said was do not let Jimmy come back here. Then he said to get you."

"Why didn't you call me directly?"

"He couldn't remember your number, he didn't come in with a cell phone." Doctor Hamel paused. "I actually called the FBI thinking you were an Agent there, they called your director."

"And the POA?"

"I didn't know about that until I already made the call."

Gibbs nodded and they started walking again, stopping outside a glass room with the inside curtains drawn.

"I'm sure I don't have to warn you how he looks."

"No, you don't." Gibbs had been through this before with countless agents.

"He's in and out, but he's coherent just exhausted. We have him on heavy doses of pain medicine." The doctor explained.

"Yeah." Gibbs looked at the doctor. "Can I talk to him alone for a minute."

"Sure. I'll check back in a little bit."

"Thanks." With that Gibbs opened the door and walked in. He stopped just inside the door and shook his head. If he hadn't been told it was Fornell, he wouldn't have known, well except for the bald head which was covered in bruises and bandaged lacerations. His face was worse, swollen, black and blue, his left eye almost completely swollen shut. Taking a step forward, Gibbs watched as Fornell opened his eyes, well at least his right one.

"Jethro." Fornell whispered.

"This is not the way to get a vacation." Gibbs smirked.

Fornell actual tried to smile.

"You're gonna be okay."

"Yeah."

"Anyone contact Diane."

Fornell nodded slowly.

Diane didn't need to know, but Emily did.

"Tobias why am I here?" Not that Gibbs wouldn't be here for his friend, but there was more to it than just Fornell being injured.

"Jimmy." Fornell sighed.

"He needs to see you."

"No. Not like this." Fornell closed his eyes a moment. "Take him home."

"He won't go, you know that."

Fornell coughed. "Make him."

Gibbs shook his head. "No."

"Jethro, please."

Taking a deep breath, Gibbs shook his head again. "He loves you Tobias."

Fornell didn't respond.

"You need him right now." Gibbs saw Fornell stare at the ceiling. "You know what this will do to the two of you. Don't push him away."

"He's not good at this stuff." Glancing over at Gibbs, Fornell licked his dry lips. "He worries, this is-"

"He can handle it." Gibbs could tell Fornell still wasn't convinced. "How would you feel if he was in here, and you were out there."

Again, Fornell's eyes closed.

"If you do this, he won't forgive you." Gibbs paused. "Don't lose him over something like this. You'll regret it. Take it from someone who knows."

Opening his eyes, Fornell nodded slightly. He was there for Gibbs when the split happened with Tony and knew all too well how it hurt them both.

"And make him your damn POA, I'm not holding your hand every time you get a hang nail."

Fornell started to laugh then coughed. "Bastard!"

"Yeah I know." Gibbs smirked. "I'll get Jimmy and let the doctor know he'll be here."

Fornell nodded.

* * *

Palmer sat in the waiting room chair, coffee in hand staring into the paper cup. "He doesn't want me back there."

"What, no." Tony shrugged. "I'm sure they just wanna make sure everything's okay."

"He asked for Gibbs, not me." Palmer sighed.

"Gibbs is his POA, I'm sure that's the only reason."

"He thinks I can't handle it, that I'll freak out." Palmer shook his head. "I worried about him going undercover. But that's normal right?" He looked at Tony. "You'd be worried if Gibbs was-Sorry."

"It's okay." Tony took a deep breath, everyone knew about the split and tip toed around it. "And it's normal to worry. I worry every day about Jethro, even when I am there with him. Part of the job."

"I wanna know he's okay and see it with my own eyes." Palmer groaned. "This is gonna drive me crazy!"

"Jethro will tell you the truth, he won't sugar coat it."

Palmer dropped the coffee, jumping from the chair as Gibbs walked towards them. "Is he okay? Can I go see him? Are they keeping him?"

"He's gonna be okay." Gibbs watched some of the tension drain out of Palmer's body. "I'll take you back."

Palmer went to rush past Gibbs and the older man grabbed his arm.

"Wait a minute." Gibbs saw fear wash over the man.

"What's wrong?"

Gibbs shook his head. "I just want you to be ready... he looks bad."

Palmer nodded.

"Jimmy." Gibbs squared his shoulders. "It wasn't that he didn't want you back there. He's scared, but he loves you."

"I know."

"He's just worried about you seeing him like this."

"He always worries about me, but hates when I worry." Palmer rolled his eyes. "Stubborn."

Gibbs saw Tony put his hand over his mouth to hid a smile. "Yeah, don't think that's gonna change." He glanced at Tony then back at Palmer. "Let's go back."

"I'll stay here." Tony somehow felt like he was intruding. He had become friends with Fornell while he and Gibbs were dating, but hadn't seen Fornell since the break-up, well except for a case they worked.

"Come back." Gibbs said. "We'll just stay a minute."

Tony nodded following behind Gibbs and Palmer as they stepped through the doubt doors. When they reached the room, Gibbs stepped aside letting Palmer enter first.

Fornell's eyes opened and focused on his partner.

"When you're better I'm gonna smack you." Palmer glared at Fornell. "And not in the way you like."

Fornell coughed, glancing behind Palmer at Gibbs and Tony, both men trying to hide a grin.

"Sorry." Fornell sighed.

"You're gonna be." Palmer leaned over and gently kissed Fornell's parched lips. "I love you." He whispered.

"Love you too." Fornell whispered back, squeezing the hand that slipped tenderly into his.

Gibbs cleared his throat and Palmer looked back. "You need anything call."

Palmer smiled and nodded. "We're good. I have a bag in the car."

"I'll check in tomorrow." Gibbs said looking at Fornell.

"Thanks Jethro." Fornell sighed as he looked back and forth between Gibbs and Tony.

"Take care of that thing we talked about." Gibbs smirked.

"Like Jethro said." Tony nodded. "Either of you need anything call."

"We will." Jimmy nodded and smiled. "Thanks Tony."

Fornell nodded as best he could at Tony, wondering what the hell was going on with those two again.

Gibbs and Tony left the room, making their way towards the elevator.

"Car's waiting for us down stairs." Gibbs said pushing the button for the ground floor. Stepping into the elevator, Gibbs saw the sad somber look on Tony's face and knew what to expect...silence.


	4. Chapter 4

Last chapter, enjoy. Happy Beth? LOL

And yet again, thank you so much for the wonderful reviews. No more tears everyone, bye bye angstville :)

Yet again thanks to Srienia for beta reading and be great!

**#############**

The ride back to Gibbs' house was spent in silence, even as they exited the car, they didn't speak. It wasn't until they walked inside that Gibbs finally spoke.

"Beer?" Gibbs felt the hand on his arm, and he turned, finding himself staring into Tony's sad green eyes. Tony was leaning against the closed door, his body shaking. "What's wrong?" The concern washed over Gibbs.

"I can't go through that." Tony's voice quivered.

"Tony, we're at risk every day."

"I'm not just talking about one of us getting hurt." Tony's hand slid down Gibbs' arm and took his hand.

"Yeah." Gibbs understood the deeper meaning Tony was trying to get across.

Pulling Gibbs towards him, Tony captured Gibbs' lips, not giving him time to think about it. Deep, passionate, he needed Gibbs to understand, to believe and accept the love and fear that overwhelmed him right now.

Gibbs' involuntarily grabbed Tony's hips, forcing the younger man hard against the door.

Tony drew back trying to keep the tears at bay. "Jethro, I need to wake up next to you, have you kiss me awake like you used to. I wanna laugh while we make dinner together and see you roll your eyes when I make a stupid movie references. I wanna grow old sitting on the couch with you talking about our day, our life together." He sighed as a tear fell down his cheek. "And I wanna know if anything does happen, that I'm the one they will call and that I'm the one that will be there."

Gibbs closed his eyes as Tony's hands caressed up his chest.

"And I wanna make love, anytime, anywhere, day or night, like we used to." Gibbs' eyes opened, gazing into Tony's. "Please tell me that's what you want too?"

"Yes."

"We'll fix it, we'll make it work, whatever it takes." Tony said it as a promise to both of them. Then he tipped his head back exposing his throat. "Please."

Without a second thought Gibbs' lips descended on Tony's throat hearing and feeling the low moans from his lover. It had been too long, he'd wanted Tony every day since the younger man left and he devoured Tony's throat with all that unmet need.

"Never again." Gibbs snarled as he bit just below Tony's ear. "I'll never let you go again."

"Never." Tony repeated.

This wasn't going to be pretty, it was going to be hard and fast, and they both need it. The gentle reconnection would come later. Biting at Tony's neck, Gibbs' hands started to tug at the belt at Tony's waist, growing impatient when he couldn't unbuckle it fast enough. Finally, he grabbed the belt and started to drag the younger man into the living room. Reaching the coffee table he put his foot against one end and shoved it across the floor, clearing a path to the couch. Again he tugged at the belt, working it free and quickly undoing Tony's slacks.

Tony pulled away from Gibbs attack and pulled his shirt off tossing it aside as he nudged at the bottom of Gibbs' sweatshirt. "Let go." He demanded and Gibbs raised his arms letting the shirt be removed.

Before Gibbs could return his lips to Tony's neck, the younger man was attacking his throat and chest, kissing, licking and nipping over the exposed flesh. The warm lips felt so good on his skin, but he wanted more. He grabbed the back of Tony's head pulling Tony's lips from his body and bringing them face to face.

Smirking, Tony's eyes locked with Gibbs'. He was all too familiar with that look in his lover's eyes and he knew exactly what to do. He pushed his slacks down letting them pool at his feet, then kicked them out of the way. His hands clawed up Gibbs' chest and he was suddenly jerked hard against the older man.

"I love you."

"I know." Tony sighed. "I love you too." He shoved Gibbs' jeans and boxers down in one quick movement, his hands immediately stroking Gibbs' hard cock.

Gibbs let out a deep grunt as the pleasure coursed through his body. "Tony." He stepped out of his jeans and walked Tony towards the end of the couch. Pushing the end table aside, but within arm's reach as his hands ran up Tony's arms.

"Changed your mind about how you want me?" Tony said still stroking Gibbs' cock.

Gibbs nodded. "I want you bent over so I can hammer into you."

Tony purred with delight and let go of Gibbs' cock. "Then do it."

Before the words had left Tony's mouth he was roughly bend over the arm of the couch, Gibbs' hand pressing down hard on the middle of his back. A moment later he heard the end table drawer open and heard the pop of a lid. Intuitively, he bent forward as far as possible, hands braced on the couch cushion and spread his legs.

Gibbs growled at the sight, he'd missed Tony's eagerness, Tony's willingness to just bend over for him. He slipped a finger inside Tony and felt the muscles fight against the intrusion. Tony was always tight, but this... "You either haven't been with anyone or you haven't let anyone fuck you." As much as part of Gibbs didn't want to know, another part of him wanted to hear it, wanted to hear Tony say he hadn't let anyone else touch him.

"I haven't been with anyone, since you." Tony sighed. "I didn't want anyone else."

"Four months." Gibbs worked his finger in and out."Your hand must be calloused by now." He said it as he added another finger, scissoring them to open Tony up.

Letting out a groan, Tony started to work back against Gibbs' fingers.

"That's right, show me how much you want it." Gibbs shoved in another finger, his fingertips brushing against Tony's prostate.

Tony's body shook, his hard cock pressed uncomfortably against the arm of the couch. "Fuck me, God please."

"Oh, believe me, I will."

"I want you inside me." Tony begged.

Spreading lube over his cock, Gibbs lined up and let the head of his cock slowly enter Tony, then stilled.

"Stop teasing me Jethro." Tony groaned rocking back to take more of Gibbs' cock. "Fuck me!"

Grasping Tony's hips, Gibbs plunged in, giving Tony exactly what he wanted.

"God yes." Tony cried out as his body was slammed forward each time Gibbs advanced.

Pulled Tony's body back slightly, Gibbs' hand slid around and grabbed the younger man's cock stroking with the rhythm of their love making.

Tony made a sound somewhere between a moan and a whimper. The ability to speak having suddenly left him as had all conscious thought faded away. There was nothing but Gibbs and the sensation of his touch.

Gibbs had lost all control, taking Tony with all the need and want that had built inside him over the last four months. Nothing could have stopped him, the earth could have swallowed them up, the world could have come to an end, but nothing would have seperated them.

Unable to hold himself up, Tony's arms folded under him and his upper body collapse as he completely unraveled. "Jethro." Tony's voice trembled as his body started to surrender. Gibbs pumped his cock harder and faster, that was all it took. Tony cried out as he came, his body going limp.

Letting go of Tony's flaccid cock, both hands now back on Tony's hips, Gibbs lunged harder and harder into his lover. Screaming Tony's name, Gibbs came, his body falling down onto his lover's back, his cock pulsing and twitching. Panting, trying to catch his breath, Gibbs found the strength to stand up.

"Shower now." Gibbs sighed. "I'm not done with you yet."

* * *

Tony's back was pressed against the wall, Gibbs' one hand clutching at his neck, the other wrapped around his cock. Tony's own hands mirroring his lovers as they stared into each other's eyes jacking each other off. This was Gibbs favorite, and Tony loved it just as much. It was another one of those things he never expected of Gibbs, the need for that deep connection, of looking into each other's eyes and seeing the emotion there. Gibbs did it even when they fought and he had this strange sense that Gibbs really could see into his soul.

"Jethro." Tony groaned while he tried not to close his eyes as the need started to settle into his spine.

"I'm with you." Gibbs panted, his own release beckoning.

Tony's fingers dug into the side of Gibbs' neck as he fought desperately to hold his lover's gaze.

"Wanna see your face when you come.. when I make you come." Gibbs watched as Tony's mouth dropped open and the younger man thrust his cock into Gibbs' hand.

Tony's eyes went wide as he came, his green eyes locked on steely blue. Gibbs coming just a second behind.

"Oh fuck yes!" Gibbs screamed, then smashed their lips together moaning as Tony crushed their bodies together.

Needing air, Tony dropped his head back against the wall, Gibbs' lips deciding if they couldn't have his mouth they would attack his neck. "You know I'm not going anywhere." Tony huffed. "We don't have to make up for four months in one night."

"Complaining already." Gibbs snickered, sucking at Tony's earlobe.

"Never." Tony moaned as Gibbs' hands snaked around his waist and grabbed his ass, squeezing hard.

"Have I told you lately how much I love your ass."

Tony laughed. "Not lately, but then I think you were too busy fucking it to tell me how much you loved it."

"I love your ass, your cock, the whole damn package." Gibbs growled as he rubbed his hand between Tony's ass cheeks.

"Jethro." Tony sighed. "The waters gonna go cold and I really don't wanna-" He gasped as Gibbs' finger slipped inside him. Grabbing Gibbs' face, he smiled at the man he loved. "So this is what happens when you don't get sex for four months?"

"Who said I didn't get sex?"

Tony's mouth dropped open. "Not funny."

Gibbs smirked. "I had a lot of fun with that little present you got me for my birthday."

A low growled rumbled through Tony's throat. "You said you wouldn't play with that unless I could watch."

"Couldn't stop myself." Gibbs grinned. "You weren't here, but I thought about you every time I used it."

"Oh God." Tony's eyes closed as he thought of Gibbs with the vibrating cock ring around his hard dick.

"It made me come, hard and so fast." Gibbs' fingers worked deeper inside Tony looking for that spot.

"Your stomach covered in come." Tony's body shivered as he envisioned the sight.

"Yeah."

Opening his eyes, Tony gave Gibbs a disappointed pout. "Wish I could have been there to lick it up for you."

Gibbs hissed as his cock twitched at the thought.

"My tongue licking all over your stomach, your cock, your balls." Tony licked his lips. "Getting every last drop and still wanting more."

"Tone." Gibbs keened.

"Get me out of this shower and into the bed." Tony demanded. "And I'll show you just how much I love tasting your come." He groaned as the fingers left him and the water went off. Grinning at Gibbs, he chuckled. "Oh you're so easy."

* * *

"So you just kept all the clothes of mine you found in a drawer?" Tony asked as they walked down the stairs.

"Yeah."

"You didn't think to say, hey Tony you left a whole bunch of clothes here, do you want them?"

Gibbs stopped and turned around, Tony almost walked into him. "Do you wanna debate this or be happy that you had extra clothes here?"

Tony grinned. "Happy that I had clothes here."

"Exactly." Taking Tony by the hand, he pulled the younger man into his arms. "Although, could have been fun, you having to walk around naked."

"I can still do that." Tony smirked.

Gibbs laughed. "I forgot you have no problem with running around naked."

"No I don't."

"We'll do that later." Gibbs gave Tony a quick kiss. "Pizza first?"

"Sounds good."

"I'll order, grab us a couple beers." Picking up his phone, Gibbs made the call then settled down on the couch.

Handing a beer to Gibbs, Tony dropped down at the other end and put his feet in Gibbs' lap. His green eyes staring at the older man.

"Go ahead." Gibbs shook his head. "What did he say to you?"

Tony smirked. "What did who say?"

"You know damn well whom!" Gibbs glared at Tony.

Tony took a swig of his beer, then shrugged. "I just wanted to say I was right."

Gibbs rolled his eyes. So Alonzo had told Tony that he got turned down last night.

"Please! You should know never to doubt my ability to read when a man or woman wants someone." Tony grinned.

"He obviously told you I turned him down or you wouldn't be here."

"He did." Tony's eyes narrowed. "Doesn't mean I like the fact he wants you, especially with him living next door."

Leering down Tony's body, Gibbs smirked. "Believe me, you have nothing to worry about."

This was yet another one of those things Tony loved about Gibbs. Even through all the problems, Tony had always felt desired and wanted sexually, even outside the bedroom. Gibbs liked to leer, even at work when the moment permitted. "Come on you have to admit he's good looking, hard body, great hair, beautiful eyes... _young_." He stressed the young.

"Are you interested in him?"

Tony reached out and punched Gibbs' in the shoulder. "NO!"

"Just checking."

"I wanted to wipe that perfect smile off his face." Tony still wanted to actually.

Gibbs chuckled. "Play nice with the neighbors."

"I don't see that happening." Tony scoffed. "Unless he moves out, then I'll be over there helping him pack."

"He'll go to a club, meet some young guy and forget all about me." Gibbs smiled at Tony. "The younger they are the more fickle they are."

"You calling me old?" Tony's eyebrows went up. "Or fickle."

Gibbs winced. "No good way out of this one."

"Backed yourself into a corner with that one." Tony laughed.

"Your exactly what I want." Gibbs said, his hand caressing Tony's leg.

"Nice save." Tony grinned, taking a sip of his beer.

"Jethro?"

"Come on in Jack." Gibbs said as the pizza guy walked in.

"Hey Tony." Jack's tone showing the surprise at seeing Tony there and with his feet in Gibbs' lap.

"Jack." Tony nodded.

"Figured you were here." Jack knew the pizza was Tony's favorite. He glanced at Gibbs' hand on Tony's leg and grinned. "About time you two worked it out."

Tony laughed as Gibbs rolled his eyes.

Jack dropped the pizza onto the coffee table and picked up the cash laying there. "I'd say have a good night but I'm sure you already have."

"More than once Jack, more than once." Tony smirked and felt Gibbs' hand tighten around his leg. "Ouch." He laughed trying to pull his leg out of Gibbs' grasp. "Come on, he already assume."

Shaking his head, Jack laugh. "Enjoy the pizza." He nodded as he turned to leave.

Gibbs grip on Tony's leg loosened. "No shame."

"None whatsoever." Tony sat up jumping into Gibbs' lap. "Did you forget that already?"

"For a minute." Gibbs smiled, touching Tony's chin. He hadn't smiled this much since Tony left.

"Just kiss me, you know you wanna." Tony smiled.

"I wanna do a lot of things." Gibbs gave Tony a quick kiss. "But right now I want pizza."

"Me too."

"Then get off me before I change my mind." Gibbs said smacking Tony's ass.

"Hey not so rough." Tony snapped, rubbing his right cheek.

Gibbs cocked his head. "Really? You're gonna try that?"

"Try what?" Tony said looking innocent.

Slipping his arms around Tony's waist, Gibbs tugged him closer. "The wall beside the bed and the first frame I build for the boat."

"Those were your fault!"

"No." Gibbs shook his head. "I will not take the blame for those."

"You were the one pounding me against them?" Tony wiggled his eyebrows.

"But you started it."

"What can I say." Tony shrugged. "I like it when you get all possessive and out of control."

"I think you just like it rough."

"Now that is your fault."

"And how is that my fault?" Gibbs chuckled.

"Rough sex with you is soooo." Tony sighed breathlessly. "Unbelievable hot."

Gibbs' hands involuntarily clawed up Tony's back. "Like that night in the hotel."

"God yes." Tony whimpered at the memory. "We broke two picture frames and the table."

"I remember." Gibbs scoffed tossing Tony down onto the couch. "It cost me over four hundred bucks for that night."

Tony smiled up at Gibbs. "But it was worth it."

"Eat the damn pizza." Gibbs smirked.

* * *

"I'm stuffed." Tony groaned, falling back against the couch. When he didn't get a smart ass comment about his over eating he glanced over and saw Gibbs deep in thought. "Why don't you call Jimmy and check in."

Gibbs shook his head. "I'll call tomorrow. It's getting late."

Picking up his phone, Tony quickly typed in a message and waited. His phone buzz and he read the text. "Fornell's doing fine, he's asleep, comfortable."

"Thanks." Wrapping an arm around Tony, Gibbs pulled the younger man against his chest, dropping a kiss to the top of his head.

"You're welcome." Slipping out of Gibbs' arm, Tony crawled onto Gibbs' lap again. "Can I ask you something?" There was a seriousness to Tony's voice.

"Yeah." Gibbs took a deep breath his body tensing as countless possible questions raced through his mind.

"Fornell and Palmer, really?"

The tension left Gibbs' body and he laughed. "Yeah."

Tony shook his head. "I can't believe Jimmy didn't tell me."

"He would have told you soon, I'm sure."

Tony cocked his head and stared at Gibbs. "Why?"

"Tobias asked him to move in before he went undercover."

"Wow." Tony seemed surprised. "How long have they been seeing each other?"

"About five months." Gibbs shrugged.

"Did you know the whole time?"

"Tobias told me about two months ago." Gibbs remembered that night. "They wanted to make sure it was right before they told everyone."

Tony picked at Gibbs' shirt. "Because they saw what happened to us?"

"I think that was part of it." Wrapping his arms around Tony's waist, Gibbs shrugged. "But that was a small part."

"Never would have put those two together." Tony chuckled. "I have to say, go Fornell. I mean Jimmy's like what, twenty five or thirty years younger than him?"

"Around there."

Tony grinned. "And I thought you liked em' young."

"You really wanna go there?" Gibbs raised an eyebrow.

"Oh please, the little Greek boy toy isn't your type." Tony shook his head as his fingers played with the buckle of Gibbs' belt.

"Why's that?"

"You think I'm high maintenance!" Tony rolled his eyes. "He had perfectly manicured nails, plucked brows, plus I think those blue eyes were fake."

Gibbs nodded. "You're probably right." Cupping Tony's chin, his thumb brushed across Tony's lips. "Plus there was one, big problem with him."

Tony's tongue licked at Gibbs' thumb. "What was that?"

"He wasn't you." Gibbs swallowed a moan as Tony sucked his thumb between his lips. "Tony."

"Giving you naughty thoughts?" Tony asked as he let Gibbs' thumb fall from his lips.

In one quick move, Gibbs threw Tony down onto the couch. "Very naughty thoughts." Gibbs smirked, staring down at Tony.

"Wanna share?" Tony's started to undo Gibbs' belt.

"You and I, in a tub of liquefying Jell-O."

Tony's eyes went wide, then his jaw clenched. "I'm gonna killer her."

Laughing, Gibbs dropped a quick kiss on Tony's lips. "When are you gonna learn."

"Right, anything you say to Abby, you say to you."

"Only when she's upset and concerned about to people she loves."

"And that's what she thinks is important to tell you, I compared myself to reliquifying Jell-O?" Tony scoffed.

"She thought it was cute."

"Great."

Gibbs slipped his hands under Tony's shirt clawing up Tony's ribcage. Descending on the younger man, his lips brushed against Tony's ear. "You are amazing, gorgeous, sexy-" He nipped at Tony's ear. "And all mine."

Tony grabbed Gibbs face with both hands, kissing him deeply, passionately, when he drew back he looked at Gibbs. "I'm still killing her."

* * *

EPILOGUE

_Three weeks later_

"What the hell is that?" Fornell face scrunched up as he looked in the jar.

"A lung." Palmer said nonchalantly.

"Ah, where do you think you're putting this?" Fornell put the jar down on the end table and backed away.

"Maybe the mantel, or in the bathroom." Palmer smiled. "Something for guest to look at."

Fornell's eyebrows went up. "No one wants to see that."

Palmer grinned as he touched Fornell's cheek. "Complaining about my taste already."

"No." Fornell grabbed his lover, pulling the younger man into his arms. "You can put anything, anywhere you want." Feasting from his lover's lips, Fornell wanted nothing more than to drag Palmer upstairs and make love.

"Haven't you two gotten enough of that yet?" Gibbs balked, walking into the living room, Tony beside him.

"Have you?" Fornell smirked.

"Nope." Gibbs grinned.

Tony rolled his eyes, then held up the beer. "I'm gonna put this in the fridge."

"I'll come with you." Palmer wiggled free of Fornell's arms and winked as he followed Tony into the kitchen.

Gibbs looked around the room and saw a ton of boxes still unopened. "Two days?" Gibbs said referring to how long Palmer had be living with Fornell.

"Yeah, lot of boxes." Fornell nodded.

Chuckling, Gibbs shook his head. "Took us almost two weeks to open half of Tony's boxes, that first time."

Fornell grinned. "Well, what can I say."

"You're happy." Gibbs smiled. "That's good."

"What about you and the Italian Stallion?" Fornell asked. "Is he gonna move back in?"

"Hell half his crap is already there." Gibbs rolled his eyes. "He's got the big screen TV back in the bedroom, the smaller big screen TV in the living room. Took over most of the closet the third day we were back together."

"And you wouldn't have it any other way." Fornell knew how happy Tony made Gibbs.

"Yeah." Gibbs nodded.

**##########**

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Tobias." Palmer twisted open a beer and handed it to Tony.

"I get it, you wanted to be sure."

"We did." Palmer smiled. "Plus with everything going on with you and Gibbs at the time-"

"It's okay really."

"But everything's good now, right?" Palmer asked, waiting to hear that everything was the way it should be.

"Yeah." Tony smiled. "It's good."

"Just good?" There was worry in Palmer's eyes.

Tony laughed. "Yes, good... very good." He took a sip of his beer.

Palmer smiled, then it faded and he spoke in a hushed tone. "Can I ask you something?"

"Um, okay?" Now Tony looked concerned.

"Latex?"

Tony's eyes danced back and forth. "Latex what? Condoms?"

"No latex masks." Palmer sighed. "Do you know how long you can safely leave a latex mask zip across someone's mouth, without them passing out or running out of air?"

Tony opened his mouth about to say something, then closed it. He shook his head. "Um, no idea."

"Guess I'll have to look online."

"Yeeeaaaahhhh." Tony nodded. "That's probably a good idea."

* * *

As the night ended, Gibbs and Tony walked to the car, Tony waving back before climbing into the passenger side. Once the door was closed and Gibbs started the car, Tony shook his head.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't ever want you to say a word about any of my weird kinks ever again."

Gibbs brow furrowed. "Um, okay."

Running his hands down his face, Tony let out a long sigh as Gibbs backed the car out of the drive.

Halfway down the road, Gibbs grinned. "Palmer brought up the latex mask didn't he?"

Tony jerked his head to the side, staring at Gibbs. "You know about that?"

"Please." Gibbs chuckled. "Fornell and I were both married to Diane."

Tony's mouth dropped open. "Are you kidding me?"

Gibbs shrugged staring out at the road before him.


End file.
